There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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