that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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