it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
