Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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