Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
