ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
