come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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