hotel room ftw
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
