if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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