'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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