u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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