Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
