Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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