Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize