Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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