I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
