don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
