ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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