he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
