come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
