just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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