North Korea, Best Korea!
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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