So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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