I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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