Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
