he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
