I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize