spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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