Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
