Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
