the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize