Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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