I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
