i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
