I looked at my own cervix.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize