Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
