i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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