It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
