I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
