bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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