ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
