Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
