I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
false alarm, still single
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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