Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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