Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
