I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
