Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
A+ Viking dick
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
