that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
This is my gift to your gina
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
