You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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