Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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