I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
