it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
