This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
