He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
MIDGETS
????
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
