We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize