As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
