you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
