I'm eating all of the evidence.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
