No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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