I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
