i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
