I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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