is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize